In more ways than one have I had a problem with knowing where I needed or even wanted to go.
Now, my education and professional background leads me to believe there are several factors involved in some of the etiology of this. However, some of the reason why is that I’m just plain scatter brained, in my opinion. Is that a diagnosis? Maybe? Maybe some of us just have this weird thing where streets and buildings, in a particular area, just start looking the same. That’s silly, I realize that but it happens to me a lot lately. I’ll just throw that into the aging basket of reasoning.
But the latter etiology can be relatively generally understood if you took some time to read and apply that wonderful Biopsychosocial model of thinking and understanding of people and what makes us tick.
So, I go into all of that to talk about my first day in Pisa, Italy alone. Two major plans I had that day were to: First, go to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, as well as the Basilica next door, where my father-in-law had visited previously and heard someone singing. He wasn’t sure who, but was relatively positive, that it was a regular occurrence and a must see or hear opportunity.
Secondly, I was just looking to get inspired. Believe it or not. I’m just still trying, at almost forty-four years old, to figure out who I am and where I want to go. I think I know in many ways. Largely, I’m still battling with the courage to share the me I’ve found with others. I want to try to figure out and be inspired to know what do with this time and new phase in my life. It’s important to me to make this time useful. What can I get out of this opportunity that is useful enough, not only to better my physical and mental health, but to also share with someone in a helpful wayMy little “need to help” girl is desperate to find something. Except, I’m lost in the decision making of it all. Almost as if again I were in the streets of Pisa and everything looks the same. Where do I find that ticket that gets me on the bus I want to be on?
I’m not sure yet but I’m gonna keep walking and I’m gonna keep searching, riding wrong buses until I find the right one. I have an opportunity here that I’ve always dreamed of and I know that many others have, as well. Maybe sharing this journey is enough. We’ll see…